August 20th, 2005

...I am Jamie Oliver, the naked chef...
I have just arrived at the boatyard where my yacht is moored. The boatyard is in an exclusive French resort town. I climb the ladder to the top deck. Then I slide down the slide to the front pool. I hit the water making a large splash. As I sink I realize I can not feel any water in the pool. I am floating in something, yet nothing is there. Once I reach the pool bottom I stand up. Now I feel water. A young boy , at the side of the pool, yells at me.
"Hey you! You almost bumped into my sister."
A thought occurs to me as I look around.
"Hmm. I bet those people on the beach are wondering why I went into a private pool to get wet when the ocean is right nearby. Come to think of it, why did I?"
I decide to leave the boat. I enter the exit slide and slide to a fancy mansion. The mansion is in my parent's backyard. I land in the pool, again making a big splash. Coming out of the water I see that a reality show is being filmed here. Greg Brady is discussing with the cast and crew what to do if a bear shows up.
"That's an odd thing to discuss," I think.
Then a large male brown bear enters the scene. Everyone runs. I am transfixed by the beauty of the bear. His fur is so beautiful. He has so mush power. Then I realize that I am in danger and run. We all hide in the haybales in the barn.
"Wait a minute. If I can climb up here, then a bear definitely can. Uh-oh"
Before I can find a new hiding spot the bear enters the barn. He moves with such a slow deliberate pace. He notices a man and woman couple. He walks towards them. Each faints in fear. The bear loses interest and continues on. He passes by me. He turns his head to look at me. Our eyes meet, then he continues on.