June 14th, 2005

I go into work at Farm and Fleet early in the morning. A group of people are standing next to stacks of music CDs. The stacks of CDs arranged in an orderly fashion. I ask a teen girl what is going on.
"I don't know," she says.
I start to look at the CDs in the stacks when I find an album by Teegan and Sara.
"Cool."
Then I look over the stack and see Teegan and Sara are in the crowd of people. So is all the Lollapalooza bands. I really want to say hello to them, but I am afraid.
"Why would they want to talk to me. They are professional musicians and I am merely a Mini-comic Artist."
I turn and wander around Farm and Fleet. The more I wander, the more hyperactive I become. Soon I am bouncing around and laughing like a maniac. I keep yelling for my skateboard. Between screams I notice a regular customer at the Front Desk. He is a middle aged Mexican Immigrant. He wants to leave with his oil purchase but no one trusts him. They are doing everything in their power to make him stay.
"I hate their bigotry," I think.
A customer approaches me.
"How many 3/4 drive ratchets does the computer say the store has," he asks me.
"Why," I ask.
"The 1/2 and 3/4 ratchets are mixed up on the shelf. I need 14 for a friend and want to know how many to order."
I go to check to computer and pass by the ratchets. I notice that the 1/2 drive and 3/4 drive ratchets are switched on the shelf. Once at the front desk, I look up the inventory in the computer. It says we have 11 3/4 ratchets in stock.
"Damn, he's right. he will need to order some."
I make a sarcastic comment about one of the Managers being a long distance runner to Anne Blanchette. She laughs then tells me she spends more time at the Front Desk than in her own department. How sad I think. I look over and see the stacks of CDs.
"No. I will not be afraid anymore! I will go and talk to Teegan and Sara. I will even ask them their address so I can send then a mini-comic."
I walk to where they were before, but they are gone. The show has started.
"Darn."
I leave the store to walk to the show. The concert is being held in the back of Momence Junior High. I am refused entrance because I do not have a ticket.
"Double darn."
I need to use the bathroom, but Geoff Trudeau's bathroom is the only one left. I reluctantly use it. It is very creepy. Dimly lit, cave-like, and filled with boxes of old clothes. I piss as quickly as I can then leave. Exiting the bathroom I spy a television. It is playing footage of the Pixies warming up for their performance. The footage was all in black and white. A teen male comes up to watch the footage with me.
He asks me," Is your chance over."
"No."
Steve Buscemi comes onto the stage. Apparently he has become a member of the Pixies. Cool. Once their instruments are tuned, they grab bottles of condiments from a nearby table. Each signs his or her name on the wall with the condiments. I leave the house confused by the Pixies signing their names in mustard and ketchup. To my surprise Teegan and Sara are outside also. They are dressed in chicken suits and chasing a shopping cart. The shopping cart was stuck on a run-away lawnmower. I run after them.
"Teegan and Sara, can I send you one of my mini-comic?"
"Sure."
"What's your address?"
A car horn prevents them from answering. Their mother has arrived and demands they leave now. I stand in the street watching them drive off. A freckly redhead teen approaches me.
"Did you get their address," she asks.
"No."
"I am sorry. I manipulated events just so you could meet them and get their contact info."
I am touched she would do all that for me. I hug her in thanks.